Today I am a better mom. I know it sounds strange, what could really be so different than yesterday? I was offered the job that I totally thought was meant for me. I was shocked. It had been a couple of weeks since the interview so I had already started thinking about new life goals. I had moved on from the idea of me having a separate identity from my family. So, I am planning my next big thing and the phone rings. The job is mine if I want it. After dissecting the job details and learning how much money I would make, or rather not make, I decided to decline. I feel somewhat heart broken about the whole thing because I really think that I could be a benefit to this community. I want this community to be revived and to live a long happy life in this small town. I want that for my children. I want them to want to come back to the area once they are older and are ready to start families of their own. But I only want that for them if it is what makes them happy. Ultimately, the only thing that will make my life feel worthwhile is the happiness of my children. In saying that, I think that their happiness is directly affected by my happiness.
So, anyway, the cost of daycare is absolutely ridiculous. I don't know how people have the will to go to work when they know they only get a small percentage of their check after daycare is subtracted. I figured that after taxes and daycare I would be pocketing less than $40/week. Is that really even worth leaving the house? I don't want to sound selfish, but I feel like $40 is nothing compared to raising my children. Compared to seeing my children learn their ABCs and how to walk, teaching them how to play with finger paint and play dough, watching my baby boy learn to walk and talk, $40 is really NOTHING!!
I am a better mom today because I have realized that I don't have to stay home with them. I am here because I want to stay at home with them. I am so blessed beyond anything that I deserve. To have the option to stay home with my boys is really special and I do realize exactly how blessed I am to have this opportunity (thanks hubby)!
As I continue to grow and find somewhere to place my mind, I hope to volunteer a little and work with my husband to grow our businesses. I plan to give my kids the better part of me instead of what is left over. And I plan to run stronger and faster because I know that I can.
Bring on the warm weather so I can get my butt outside to run farther and more often. Thank God for all of the great people and opportunities that I have been given in this crazy life.
CMaN
you're such a good mommy! Youre right you made the right decision! I can't wait until we can run together, I know that both of us will have lots to say; and we can help each other run stronger and FASTER. 2 hours baby we can do it. It's up from here...hee hee we are seeded! yippie.
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